10 Activities To Teach Impulse Control To a Child

Impulsivity is its own form of evil. It forces one to spend many moments suffering a decision made in one.” ― Daniel V Chappell

Mihir is only 10 and yet, he is into swimming, karate and even participates in track race competition occasionally. Parents of other kids are in awe of him, but his mother knows how important it is for her son to be physically active. That it is necessary for him to be this involved to avoid his anger and impulsive tendencies. In kindergarten, he would never sit idle and would bounce like a wrecking ball from one place to another. Psychological tests ruled him out of having ADHD, but these activities became a part of his well-maintained schedule. 

Often people advise how decisions made in an impulsive moment without giving anything a serious thought lead to regrets and misery. Growing up, kids need to learn the importance of controlling their impulses, so they can develop good decision-making skills, achieve their long-term goals, and avoid any mental distress resulting from impulsivity. Research studies show that impulsive behavior is often linked with poor decision-making and leads to the development of mental disorders.

I. What is impulse control?

Impulse control refers to the ability to manage and regulate one’s immediate impulses, desires, or temptations, and to make deliberate decisions about one’s actions. It involves resisting impulsive reactions and considering the potential consequences before acting.

Difficulties with impulse control often coexist with challenges in other executive functions, including emotional regulation, planning, prioritizing, time management, and goal persistence. Also known as response inhibition, impulse control is an essential component of executive functions, which are cognitive processes that help us navigate our daily lives effectively.

The development of impulse control begins early in life, with initial progress observed as early as 6 months, but it continues to mature throughout childhood and into early adulthood. It is among the last executive skills to fully develop. While occasional impulsivity is a normal part of child development, persistent impulsive behavior may indicate underlying factors.

II. Why do children have impulsive behavior?

Various factors can contribute to impulsive behavior in children. Excitement, frustration, fatigue, lack of skills, or immaturity can all influence a child’s ability to control their impulses. However, in some cases, impulsive behavior can be associated with underlying issues such as ADHD or other developmental and mental health conditions. Below are five reasons why kids may exhibit impulsive behavior.

1. Brain development

The prefrontal cortex, responsible for executive functions such as impulse control, continues to develop throughout childhood and adolescence. Young children, especially those between the ages of 2 and 5, may struggle with impulse control as their brain regions responsible for self-regulation are still maturing.

2. Emotional regulation challenges

Kids who have difficulty regulating their emotions may also struggle with impulse control. When faced with intense emotions like anger, frustration, or excitement, they may have difficulty managing their impulses and act impulsively without considering the consequences. Teaching children effective emotional regulation strategies by helping them in labeling their emotions and teaching them to express their emotions can help them develop better impulse control.

3. ADHD and other neurodevelopmental conditions

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is often associated with impulsive behavior. Children with ADHD may have difficulty inhibiting impulsive responses and may act before thinking. Other neurodevelopmental conditions, such as autism spectrum disorder, can also contribute to impulsive behavior.

4. Environmental factors

Environmental factors can significantly influence a child’s impulsivity. Stressful or chaotic home environments, inconsistent parenting, exposure to violence, or witnessing aggressive behavior can increase the likelihood of impulsive behavior. Additionally, lack of structure, routine, or clear boundaries may contribute to impulsive actions.

5. Peer pressure and social influences

Children are highly susceptible to peer influence, especially during their school years. Peer pressure can lead to impulsive behavior as children may engage in actions to fit in, seek approval, or avoid social rejection. Impulsive behavior may be a result of the desire to please peers or the fear of missing out on something exciting.

Recommended reading: Why Is Stress and Anxiety So Common in Children These Days?

Recommended reading: 9 Fun Activities to Build Listening Skills in Children

III. Development and impulsive behavior: An age-by-age guide

V. Activities to teach impulse control to a child

Here are a few activities to teach impulse control to a child.

1. Counting before acting

If your child tends to be impulsive, this mantra can work like magic. Teach your child techniques to calm down.

Instill in your child the habit of ‘counting to ten’ before doing something. Teach them to use the trick when feeling overwhelmed with strong emotions like anger, fear, etc. 

The pause between counting and acting helps your kid to control the sudden impulse to do something rash. It gives their brain some time to think before acting on impulses.

An article published in Medical News Today proposes that counting to ten is a good impulse management trick when a person is feeling angry as it helps the brain to release tension and calms the tense muscles in the body. 

Recommended reading: How To Teach Your Child To Think Out Of The Box

2. Impulse control games

Impulse control games help children learn self-control and self-regulation. Self-control games like Red Light/Green Light, Simon Says, Freeze and Melt, etc., can be played anywhere in an open space. Hopping, running, jumping, crawling, and doing what the mediator says keeps the kids busy.

A research study by Sophia Foreman (2021) concludes that self-control increases in group games. Conversely, Zhao et al. (2021), in their research, propose that repeatedly playing a game that inhibits physical action supports children in exhibiting self-control over their actions. A lot of research has been done on games like Simon Says and Red Light/Green Light that show positive results in controlling impulses. 

3. Outdoor activities

Playing outdoor games, like hockey, football, cricket, etc., that require a lot of running and physical strength keeps children on their toes. Such competitive games help them learn discipline and control their impulses.

Working in the garden – plucking weeds or doing odd jobs around the house, like painting a fence, helps. Such tedious tasks usually take a long time to finish and when you make children realize that they have to finish it before doing anything keeps them grounded.

Research studies show that gardening is beneficial for attention-deficit children and even teaches children self-discipline. An article published in The Washington Post revealed that being in nature helps control impulses and boosts immunity.

Recommended reading: Why You Should Take Your Child To Farm Visits?

4. Physical exercises

Going for a run, swim or doing other physical exercises helps calm one’s body.

As kids are often full of energy, a little exercise to burn off all the extra energy should help them keep calm. If they are too tired to move them, acting out impulsively is not a threat. As an added benefit, they become physically strong too. Yoga and meditation, too, can be applied in case your kid cannot participate in overly strenuous physical activities.

Research studies prove that mindful meditation is highly beneficial when it comes to controlling your impulses as your mind becomes calm and tranquil. 

Recommended reading: 5 Reasons Why Your Child Should Join a Yoga Class

5. Songs

There are impulse-controlling songs that help children to control their impulses. Some of these songs are calming that soothe a person’s mind with soft musical sounds and lyrics. Listening to such songs can prove effective.

A few songs that you can check out are – Breathe by Music for Kiddos, Self Control Song by Dawn Miller, and Self Control Song by David Kisor. An article by Musikgarten also emphasizes that music helps children learn self-confidence and impulse control. 

6. Dancing

Dancing is both fun and tiring. Take your kids dancing and let them burn their energy.

According to the British Council, dance movements help children express their emotions and impulses. As dancing requires following certain steps and practice, it helps the kids learn to control and channel their energy in a beneficial manner.

In fact, studies have observed that for children with ADHD, dancing is beneficial in learning impulse control by modifying their behavior. Kids with ADHD do dance well, so dance therapies are often recommended to help them.  

7. Book reading sessions

The trick is to read aloud books that talk about impulsivity and how to control your impulses. Doing such book reading sessions with your kids not only makes it fun but keep your kids busy too.

You can do an elaborate book reading session like authors do, making it more fun by inviting your kids’ friends, providing refreshments, and creating a suitable but cozy venue in the corner of your house. The excitement of it all would be enough to keep their impulses under control.

To make it more fun and teach impulse control to a child, relatable stories where a protagonist acts impulsively and regrets the action later can be shared before moving onto more technical part of the ‘impulse controlling’ techniques. 

8. Art and painting

While art and painting are both cathartic and relaxing, such activities help in calming a person’s mind and thoughts. Art demands attention to finer details and complete focus.

Researchers found that art therapy helps children learn and practice self-restraint in their everyday life. Researchers have shown that art therapy (painting, drawing, and pottery) is positively associated with reduced aggressive behavior, hyperactivity and inattention in children.

You can enroll your child in art/painting classes or can hold your own sessions at home as per the comfort level of your child. 

9. The sous chef

Working in the kitchen – chopping vegetables, cooking, or decorating salads and fruits can be another activity to keep your kids’ impulses in control.

You can play the head chef and ask your child to be your sous chef. As the kitchen is no easy place and making something delicious from raw ingredients requires both attention and control over the heat, salt and spices, your kids learn not only patience but also get to eat something delicious at the end of it all!

Cooking is beneficial to counter stress and limit negative thinking. Cooking helps kids learn problem-solving skills, build self-confidence, and even learn self-discipline and control.

Ideal jobs for your kids around the kitchen would be mixing the better, washing vegetables, reading instructions from a cookbook, etc., Keep it safe and fun for them. 

Recommended reading: 10 Reasons Why Your Child Should Enroll in Cooking Classes

10. Alternative activities

Sometimes the impulses become too much, and children feel restless. Their hands and feet would begin moving in anticipation. In such a situation, it is important that some impromptu alternative activities like squatting, scribbling, organizing things, etc., be kept at handy when you feel your child is getting fidgety.

Naturally, it is not easy for kids to sit tight in one place, but when they feel like doing something impulsive, practicing such activities should be enforced to help them bring the situation under control and calm their impulses.

Recommended reading: 35 Essential Life Skills To Teach Your Child

Recommended reading: 7 Tips To Increase Concentration In Children

VI. Mistakes to avoid when teaching impulse control to a child

While there are several effective activities for helping children develop impulse control, there are also mistakes that may do just the opposite. Here are some mistakes avoid when teaching impulse control to a child.

1. Punishment-based approaches

Strict punishment or harsh discipline methods often fail to teach children self-control. While consequences are important for learning, overly punitive measures can lead to fear, resentment, and rebellion rather than genuine self-regulation.

2. Ignoring the behavior

Ignoring impulsive behaviors in the hope that they will eventually disappear may not be effective. Ignoring may reinforce the behavior or send the message that it is acceptable. It’s crucial to address and guide children’s impulsive actions in a constructive manner.

3. Labeling or shaming

Calling children impulsive or using negative labels can damage their self-esteem and hinder their progress. Shaming them for their impulsive behaviors may make them feel inadequate and discouraged, rather than helping them develop better self-control.

4. Relying solely on rewards

While rewards can be useful for motivating positive behaviors, they may not be effective as the sole strategy for impulse control. Children may become dependent on external rewards rather than internalizing self-regulation skills.

5. Lack of consistency

Inconsistency in setting expectations and consequences can confuse children and undermine their ability to develop impulse control. It’s essential to establish clear and consistent boundaries to provide structure and support their self-control efforts.

6. Overload of rules

Bombarding children with too many rules and restrictions can overwhelm them and make it challenging to exercise self-control. Focus on key rules and gradually introduce additional expectations as they demonstrate improved impulse control.

VII. Frequently asked questions: Teach impulse control to a child

1. At what age do kids have impulse control?

Children typically start developing impulse control skills around the age of 3 or 4, and continue to refine them throughout childhood and adolescence. However, the development of impulse control varies among individuals, and some children may demonstrate more advanced skills earlier or later than others. It is important to provide guidance, support, and age-appropriate activities to help children strengthen their impulse control abilities as they grow.

2. What are examples of impulse control in children?

Examples of impulse control in children can include:

• Waiting for their turn: Children with good impulse control can patiently wait for their turn during games, activities, or conversations, rather than interrupting or acting impulsively.
• Resisting immediate gratification: Children who have developed impulse control can delay gratification and resist the urge to immediately fulfill their desires, such as waiting for their birthday to open a gift or saving money instead of spending it right away.
• Thinking before acting: Instead of impulsively reacting to a situation, children with impulse control can pause, consider the consequences of their actions, and make thoughtful decisions based on reason rather than immediate impulses.
• Managing emotions: Children who demonstrate impulse control can regulate their emotions effectively, expressing them in appropriate ways and avoiding impulsive outbursts or aggressive behavior.
• Following rules: Children with good impulse control can adhere to rules and guidelines, understanding the importance of following instructions even when they may have conflicting desires or impulses.
• Planning and organizing: Developing impulse control allows children to plan and organize their tasks and activities, breaking them down into manageable steps rather than being overwhelmed by impulsive actions.
• Empathy and perspective-taking: Children with impulse control can consider the feelings and perspectives of others before acting or making decisions, showing empathy and behaving in a more considerate and thoughtful manner.

VIII. Infographic: Teach impulse control to a child

Conclusion: Teach impulse control to a child

Impulsive behavior can sometimes be both tiresome and a nuisance. Parents often struggle to keep up with their kids and try to match their immeasurable energy levels. The aforementioned activities, as research studies support, have been beneficial in controlling impulse. However, parents should consult a clinical psychologist if symptoms worsen and get their child tested for ADHD. Proper intervention at the right time is important.