We want our kids to be successful in all of their endeavors.
And it’s natural for us to want to protect them from experiencing the hurt and frustration that comes with failure.
That’s why we scold and hit a toy that our kid tripped over as if the toy was responsible for the fall 😂
Or we blame the game when our kid’s team loses.
“It’s not fair! The other team is cheating!”
In our minds, we’re trying to stop the hurt before it starts. But in reality, we might do more harm than good.
According to Dr. Brené Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston and author of The Gifts of Imperfection, “One of the greatest gifts we can give our children is the permission to be human.”
In other words, it’s okay for our kids to feel hurt, frustrated, and disappointed. It’s part of being human.
And while it’s natural for us to want to protect our kids from experiencing these negative emotions, it’s important to remember that these feelings are a normal and necessary part of life.
In fact, these emotions can actually be helpful.
They can motivate us to try harder, to be better, and persevere in the face of adversity.
The kid that never learns to cope with failure is more likely to give up at the first sign of difficulty.
So how can we help our kids to cope with their feelings about failure?
Here are four steps to help kids cope with failure.
1. Acknowledge their feelings
The first step is to acknowledge your child’s feelings.
Let them know that it’s normal to feel upset and frustrated when things don’t go as planned.
And assure them you’re there for them, no matter what.
2. Help them reframe their failure
One of the best ways to help your child deal with their feelings about failure is to help them reframe their experience.
For example, you can point out that while they may not have won the game, they learned some valuable lessons about teamwork and fair play.
Or you can help them see their mistake as an opportunity to learn and grow.
3. Cook up an action plan with them
Another helpful tip is to sit down with your child and cook up an action plan.
Help them identify what went wrong and what they can do differently next time.
This will not only help them cope with their failure, but it will also help them avoid making the same mistakes in the future.
4. Encourage them to keep trying
Finally, it’s important to encourage your child to keep trying.
Remind them that everyone experiences failure from time to time. And assure them they have the strength and ability to overcome any obstacle.
Coping with failure is a key part of having a growth mindset.
And by helping our kids to cope with their feelings about failure, we can set them up for a lifetime of success.
Do you want to explore the subject and find out how to help your kid develop a growth mindset for coping with failure?
Check out our Growth Mindset Workshop here!
