What does it take for you to jump in and help your kid?
Be honest.
Tell me, on this scale of 1 to 5, where do you stand?
1 – Not letting your kid smell trouble
2 – Swooping in at the first sign of trouble
3 – Jumping in when asked
4 – Letting your kids figure it out most of the time, but being there when they need you
5 – Encouraging your kids to struggle and making it okay for them to fail
If you said 4 or 5, then you are doing good.
If you are somewhere between 1 to 3, this post is for you. Because I have been there!
And I have seen what it did to my kids.
I was that helicopter parent who couldn’t let my kids out of my sight. And I have to say, it did not do them any favors.
Sure, they were safe.
But how long could I keep them safe like that?
They were not learning how to fend for themselves. They were not learning how to solve problems on their own.
And I realized when they have to face the world on their own, they will be ill-equipped and struggle.
It was then that I realized the importance of letting my kids struggle.
Now, I am not saying that you should let your kids put themselves in danger or harm’s way. But there is a big difference between being safe and being sheltered.
And I want my kids to be prepared for the real world, not some coddled version of it.
So, here are 7 reasons it is important to let your kids struggle.
1. It builds character.
When kids struggle, it builds character. They learn how to persevere and overcome obstacles. And this is a valuable life skill that they can use in the future.
2. It teaches them problem-solving skills.
Being able to find creative solutions for problems at hand is a skill that will pay for life. But it doesn’t come easy. When kids are allowed to struggle and find solutions on their own, they develop this skill.
3. It teaches them how to be independent.
If they grow up thinking someone will come to rescue them every time they face a problem, they will never learn how to be independent.
4. It teaches them how to be resilient.
In this fast-paced world, things will not always go their way. And it is important for them to learn how to pick themselves up and move on.
Recommended reading: 5 Critical Life Skills for Kids
5. It builds confidence.
When kids can overcome obstacles and achieve their goals, it builds confidence. It shows them they can achieve anything they set their mind to.
6. It teaches them to self-regulate.
Have you seen a baby after it’s hurt (when you don’t pacify it)?
The baby will cry for some time and then stop. That’s because babies know how to self-regulate. They know when to stop and how to move on.
Coddle them and they will cry for longer not just that instance but every time they get hurt.
When kids are allowed to struggle and not be rescued every time, they relearn this skill.
7. It fosters a growth mindset.
A growth mindset is a belief that one’s abilities and intelligence can be developed.
On the other hand, a fixed mindset is a belief that one’s abilities and intelligence are static.
Letting your kids struggle will help them develop a growth mindset. They will learn that they can get better with practice and effort.
So, the next time your kid is struggling with something, instead of jumping in to help, step back and let them figure it out. It will do them a world of good!
Feeling clueless about how to go about it?
We have got just the thing for you. An in-depth workshop on Growth Mindset coming up this month to help you get started on the right foot!
It deals with topics like:
- Recognizing a fixed mindset
- Why a growth mindset is important
- How to develop a growth mindset in your kids
- Practical strategies to inculcate a growth mindset through everyday things
Bonus: Workbook and talking scripts
Sound interesting?
Register here to save your seat!
