Have you ever felt like you can’t quite trust your own instincts?
Or that you’re always second-guessing yourself, even in the simplest of situations?
If so, it’s possible that you were raised by manipulative parents.
Manipulative parents can have a profound impact on their children, shaping their beliefs, behavior, and outlook on life. These parents often use emotional blackmail, guilt, and other tactics to control their children and maintain power over them.
In this blog post, we will explore seven signs that you may have been raised by manipulative parents, and offer some guidance on how to move forward and break free from their grip. So, if you’re ready to take a closer look at your past and start building a brighter future, keep reading.
7 Signs You Have Been Raised By Manipulative Parents
Here are seven signs of manipulative parents and what to do if you recognize these signs in your own relationship with your parents.
1. Guilt Tripping
Manipulative parents may use guilt to control their children. They may make their children feel guilty for not doing what they want or for not being the person they want them to be. This can result in the child feeling like they can never live up to their parents’ expectations, leading to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.
According to a study by Lamia and Smith (2018) published in the Journal of Child and Family Studies, parents who use guilt induction as a form of discipline are more likely to have children with higher levels of anxiety and depressive symptoms.
For example, a manipulative parent might say, “I sacrificed so much for you and this is how you repay me?” or “If you loved me, you would do what I ask.”
2. Playing Favorites
Manipulative parents may play favorites among their children, creating a divide and making some children feel more loved or valued than others. This can lead to resentment and jealousy between siblings, as well as feelings of rejection and unworthiness in the less-favored child.
A study by Conger et al. (1994) published in Child Development found that parental favoritism can lead to lower levels of self-esteem and higher levels of depression and behavioral problems in children.
For example, a manipulative parent may show more affection or give more attention to one child over another, causing the other child to feel unloved and undervalued. For example, a parent may constantly praise one child’s achievements while ignoring or belittling the other child’s accomplishments.
Recommended reading: Bad Parenting and It’s Impact on Child’s Mental Health
Recommended reading: 7 Signs of Childhood Psychological Abuse
3. Gaslighting
Manipulative parents may manipulate their children by making them question their own memory, perception, or sanity. They may deny or distort past events, leading the child to doubt their own experiences and feelings. This can cause confusion and a sense of unreality in the child, as well as erode their trust in their own judgment.
A study by Dorahy et al. (2017) published in the Journal of Trauma & Dissociation found that gaslighting by parents can lead to emotional dysregulation and difficulty with self-identity in children.
For example, a manipulative parent may say things like, “I never said that” or “You’re making things up” to make their child doubt their own memories or experiences.
Recommended reading: Gaslighting and Parenting: What You Need to Know
4. Emotional Blackmail
Manipulative parents may use emotional blackmail to control their children. They may threaten to harm themselves or others if their demands are not met, or make the child feel responsible for their emotions and well-being. This leads to feelings of guilt and anxiety in the child, as well as a sense of being trapped and powerless.
According to a study by Finkenauer et al. (2005) published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, parents who use emotional blackmail are more likely to have children who struggle with feelings of guilt and shame.
For example, a manipulative parent may say things like, “If you don’t do what I ask, I’ll hurt myself” or “If you leave me, I’ll be all alone.”
Recommended reading: 9 Signs Of Emotional Abuse From Parents
5. Isolation
Manipulative parents may try to isolate their children from friends and family, making them more dependent on the parent. They may discourage or forbid the child from socializing, or create a climate of fear and mistrust around other people. This can lead to social isolation and stunted emotional growth in the child.
A study by Laursen et al. (2007) published in the Journal of Family Psychology found that parental interference in peer relationships can lead to increased loneliness and lower levels of social support in children.
For example, a manipulative parent may discourage their child from spending time with friends or extended family, and may try to control who they are allowed to see or talk to.
Recommended reading: Loneliness In Children and Its Impact On Mental Health
6. Using Money as a Tool
Manipulative parents may use money as a tool to control or manipulate their children. They may withhold it as punishment, or threaten to cut the child off financially if they do not comply with their wishes. This can create a sense of financial dependence and insecurity in the child, as well as a feeling of being bought or sold.
According to a study by Kasser and Ryan (1993) published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, parental use of financial rewards and punishments can lead to lower levels of intrinsic motivation in children.
For example, a manipulative parent may withhold financial support as a way of punishing their child, or may offer money as a way of controlling their behavior.
7. Using Manipulation to Maintain Power
Manipulative parents may use manipulation to maintain power and control over their children. They may undermine their confidence, limit their independence, or create a sense of constant surveillance and scrutiny. This can lead to a sense of powerlessness and helplessness in the child, as well as difficulty forming healthy relationships in the future.
A study by Lapsley and Murphy (1985) published in the Journal of Youth and Adolescence found that parental manipulation can lead to feelings of powerlessness and decreased self-esteem in children.
A manipulative parent may use tactics such as criticism, belittling, or guilt to maintain control over their child’s choices and actions.
8. Blaming the Child for Their Problems
Manipulative parents may blame their children for their own problems, rather than taking responsibility for their own actions. They may project their own insecurities and fears onto the child, making them feel responsible for their parent’s emotional well-being. This can create a sense of being burdened and responsible for things beyond the child’s control.
According to a study by Serketich and Dumas (1996) published in the Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, parents who blame their children for their own problems are more likely to have children with low self-esteem and increased emotional and behavioral problems.
For example, a manipulative parent may blame their child for their own mistakes or problems, rather than taking responsibility themselves. For example, they may say things like, “If you hadn’t done X, I wouldn’t be in this situation” or “You’re the reason our family is falling apart.
What To Do If You Recognize These Signs
If you recognize any of these signs in your relationship with your parents, it’s important to seek help and support. You can talk to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist about your experiences and feelings. It’s also important to set healthy boundaries with your parents and seek distance if necessary. Remember that you are not responsible for your parents’ behavior, and that you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity.
Conclusion: Raised By Manipulative Parents
In conclusion, manipulative parents can use various tactics to control and manipulate their children, causing long-term emotional and psychological harm.
