Raising a child is one of the most difficult yet crucial parts of our civilization. It is not vainly said that kids build the future through their thoughts, conditioning and leadership. Although I would like to add another line to it – not only kids but their parents are also responsible for how the future turns out to be. If as parents we are not vigilant and progressive, if we don’t say no to gender based parenting while conditioning our kids, the future will be stuck in a vicious cycle of wrong conditioning leading to a toxic future continuing for ages.
Here are some ways in which parents can say no to gender based parenting.
1. Housework is not a gender skill but a life skill
While teaching your kids to cook, don’t assume that the expertise in kitchen duties is a part of a girl’s upbringing. Cooking is a life skill that every human needs to survive in this society. So make the kitchen a gender-inclusive space so that both male and female child understands the value of cooking in their lives.
Recommended reading: 5 Things To Teach Your Boys
Recommended reading: Breaking Stereotypes: Changing Gender Roles In Modern Society
2. Driving is not only for the male child
In many families, it is very common for parents to teach their sons to drive at a very young age. It is somehow seen as necessary for a man to learn to drive. However, rarely does the girl child get the opportunity to learn to drive. The independence that driving provides to any person is never put in women’s court. But if women were not fit as drivers then how does research prove that women are safer and better drivers than men?
3. Be gender-neutral hosts
In many families, girls are expected to serve the guests in the house while boys are expected to sit with them and initiate a conversation. This must change. Both boys and girls should be actively involved in serving the guests and striking conversations with them. In this way, children will not internalize gender roles and understand that there is no difference in the roles that men and women play in life.
4. Marriage should not be forced
Be it in urban or rural areas, the marriage pressure on girls is common and starts very early in their life. Once a daughter crosses 20, she is constantly reminded to get married and settle down. But men of the same age are encouraged to flourish in education and career. It is high time now that we stop making marriage a compulsion for women and a choice for men. Both men and women should be allowed to flourish in their careers and decide when exactly they are ready to be married.
5. Outlook towards education
During the Pandemic, I came across an urban family that could afford a single smartphone for online education and so they prioritized the education of the son and not two daughters. In their defense, they said that women have to ultimately go to another house; then what is the need for her to study? But their son is going to be their support in old age and so their education is important. Please don’t go by the saying that girls need to be bahus and boys bosses. Both of them have equal rights to be educated and employed. Say no to gender based parenting. And being parents, you are responsible for protecting their rights and making them approachable. Value the education of boys and girls equally so that they can grow up and eliminate the gender disparity in the workforce.
Recommended reading: 7 Parenting Mistakes That Can Cause Childhood Trauma
Recommended reading: Boy or Girl! A Big Question We Have
Did you know? Due to male child preference in our society, 63 million girls have gone missing from our country. This means that girls are either being aborted, killed after birth or abandoned. Despite the fact that now women are outnumbering men in terms of the population according to the NFHS-5 survey. Why is gendered parenting still prevalent in India? If we continue to raise children through gendered parenting just because this was fed to us as the norm, how will the future ever evolve?
