Are you a free-range parent or someone who wants to track it all? If your answer is the latter, then you are a helicopter parent.
Who is a helicopter parent?
A helicopter parent is the kind of parent who always hovers over their child’s behavior and actions. Their entire focus is on their child, and they take a deep interest in the experiences and problems of their children. They guard children at every step and prepare well in advance on how the child should act and respond in any given life situation. Helicopter parents care about their children and want to assist them, but their methods are often counterproductive.
Signs that you are a helicopter parent
In the flow of raising a child, we don’t even realize when our parenting style starts getting tagged. Here are some basic traits to help you understand if you are a helicopter parent.
- You have a tendency to overprotect.
- You keep your aspirations and life goals in the back seat.
- You choose your child’s social circle.
- You want to create the best opportunities for your children.
- You take pride in your over-involved approach to parenting.
Ways to stop being a helicopter parent
If you have just discovered that you are a helicopter parent, here are four ways to stop being one.
1. Be a facilitator
Be a facilitator and show directions. It doesn’t mean doing everything for your children. Rather, allow them to carve their way. Instead of providing a straightforward solution for any problem, offer them multiple alternatives to choose from. Once children learn how to do a task, let them handle it. Observe them but avoid doing what they can do by themselves.
2. Limit instructions
Constantly guiding on how to/how not to act has a negative impact on development of a child’s cognition ability. Do not plan their life as a standard itinerary. Resist the urge to guide your children at every stage. Understand the difference between obedience and responsibility. An obedient child simply follows orders while a responsible child knows what they should do. Allow enough space to help your child become responsible.
Recommended reading: 7 Tips to Teach Your Child Responsibility
3. Allow decision making
Responsibility comes with authority. Let your children decide for themselves within effective boundaries. Keep in mind that by allowing them to make small decisions, you are helping them grow as responsible and independent boys and girls. Over guarded children will find it difficult to face the challenges in the real world, thus leading to anxiety and depression later in life when they are faced with real-life challenges.
4. Allow mistakes
Making mistakes is the best way to learn on an ongoing basis. Committing mistakes means a child is putting in effort, and rectifying the mistakes will help them learn. So, normalize making mistakes! Tell your children that failures do not mean being doomed. Challenges do not mean the end of the world. These are opportunities to introspect, learn, grow and excel.
Recommended reading: 9 Tips to Develop Growth Mindset in Children
Conclusion: Helicopter parent
In this present-day world, there is a rush to prove our worth; sometimes through self and sometimes through our children. This often contributes to the birth of many helicopter parents. Being one is not a sin, but understanding its pros and cons is important.
Maria Montessori once said, ‘the greatest gift we can give children is roots of responsibility and the wings of independence.’ There is a thin line of difference between an over-involved parent and an under- involved parent. Anything done with moderation is always more fruitful and beneficial. So, learning how to strike a perfect balance is the key to all the parenthood locks.
Don’t be a helicopter parent.
Happy reading!
