Are you allowing someone to live in your head rent-free? Yes, that’s what exactly a grudge is. And the sooner you let go of a grudge, the better your mental health will be.
Remember the time when your ex-lover or friend fought with you and disconnected the phone on your face? Every time you are reminded of that incident, your stomach churns, and you feel your blood pressure rise. You have this sudden desire to go back in time and do something worse to them. Well, this is something most people relate to. You must, however, understand that holding grudges and hating someone for too long is not a healthy thing. It has serious mental health repercussions, and the person who suffers the most is you.
It is not that we hold grudges only against people who were close to us. We often hold grudges on complete strangers. For instance, while travelling in a metro, if someone sat on the seat you were eyeing, chances are you’re going to hate that unknown person. Your entire mood will be ruined, and you’ll be bitter about that person the whole day.
Here are some simple steps you can take to throw away the seeds of hatred from your garden of wellbeing.
1. Forgiveness
The chances are that the person who has hurt you will never ask for your forgiveness. But it does not matter. For your own mental peace, you must make sure to forgive that person. You can chant “I forgive you” while meditating.
2. Meditation
When you start meditating, you are likely to feel frustrated. All of the bad things people have said and done to you will come and haunt you as soon as you close your eyes. This is going to be stressful for you, but after some time, you’ll be able to focus on what’s troubling you.
Start the meditation by chanting, “No matter how much you’ve hurt me, I forgive you”. Do this daily, and you’ll notice a change in yourself. Next time you think about that person, you’ll not feel bitter about them.
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3. Communicate
Tell the person who is causing you sleepless nights that they have hurt you with their words or actions. Direct confrontation can make your throat dry, but it is an excellent way to solve the problem.
4. Self-affirmation
If there is no way you can tell the person you hold a grudge against that they have not treated you well, the only way you can let go of the grudge is by practicing self-affirmation. Every morning take out your dairy and write 5 good things you’ve done to people, even when they’ve hurt you.
5. Share Your Feelings
Sometimes we make the problem big in our head. It is only after we tell it to other people that we realize how stupid our concern was. If you hold a grudge against someone, talk about it with your friends, significant other, or parents, as they may give you a different perspective. You’ll feel light and relaxed after sharing how you feel.
To conclude,
If you hold onto an object for too long, it is you who will be in pain. It is important to let go of the grudge; otherwise, the pain of hatred would be unbearable and affect your mental health.
Remember, life’s too short to hold grudges. But if you must hold on to a grudge, this is how you should do it – How to Hold a Grudge: From Resentment to Contentment―The Power of Grudges to Transform Your Life.
