Teaching emotional intelligence is not like teaching the alphabet or numbers. It’s not like you can teach them once and they will know it for life.
Emotional intelligence is something that needs to be practiced regularly.
Here are some tips on how you can help your kids develop their emotional intelligence.
Tips To Develop Emotional Intelligence In Kids
1. Be a role model
Your kids will learn from you more than they will learn from anyone else. If you want them to be emotionally intelligent, you need to show them what it looks like. Be patient, be kind, and be understanding. Show them it’s okay to express emotions and that it’s okay to ask for help when needed.
2. Encourage them to express their emotions
Don’t tell them to “just suck it up” or that they “shouldn’t feel that way”. Let them know that it’s okay to feel all kinds of emotions and that it’s normal to have difficulties.
Only when they learn to express their emotions can they understand and manage them.
3. Help them label their emotions
Labeling emotions is a great way to help kids understand and manage their emotions. When they can put a name to how they’re feeling, it helps them to make sense of it all.
For example, if your child is feeling angry, help them understand that it’s okay to feel angry, and then help them label the feeling. You could say something like, “I can see that you’re feeling angry right now. Do you want to talk about what’s making you angry?”
Or you could prompt them to label their emotions themselves by asking, “How do you think you’re feeling right now?”
4. Help them understand how their emotions affect their behavior
Emotions don’t just exist in our heads – they also affect our behavior. It’s important for kids to understand how their emotions can affect their behavior.
For example, if your child is feeling angry, they might lash out and say or do something hurtful. If they’re feeling sad, they might withdraw and not want to take part in activities that they usually enjoy.
Helping your kids to understand how their emotions affect their behavior can go a long way in helping them to manage their emotions effectively.
Recommended reading: 5 Books To Help Your Child Understand Emotions
Recommended reading: Teach Your Child To Be Empathetic: An Age-by-age Guide
5. Help them react better to their emotions
Once your kids understand how their emotions affect their behavior, you can help them learn how to react better to their emotions. This involves teaching them some coping skills and strategies.
For example, if your child is feeling angry, you could teach them to take some deep breaths or to count to 10 before reacting. If they’re feeling sad, you could teach them to express their feelings through writing or drawing.
There are many coping skills and strategies that you can teach your kids. The important thing is to find ones that work for them and that they feel comfortable using.
6. Encourage them to think and reflect before acting
Teaching your kids to think before they act is another great way to help them develop emotional intelligence. This involves teaching them to pause and reflect before reacting to a situation.
For example, if your child is about to lash out at someone in anger, you could teach them to take a step back and ask themselves some questions first.
Questions like, “Is this going to help the situation or make it worse?”, “How will the other person feel if I do this?”, and “What are some other ways I could handle this?”
Asking these kinds of questions can help kids to think about the situation and react in a more constructive way.
What you need to know
You can only teach what you know.
So, if you want to develop emotional intelligence in your kids, you need to start with yourself.
Model the behavior that you want to see in your kids. If you want them to be kind and understanding, then be kind and understanding yourself. If you want them to express their emotions, then express your own emotions.
If you struggle to manage your emotions, work on yourself first.
Once you’ve got a better handle on your emotions, you’ll be in a much better position to help your kids develop emotional intelligence.
Remember, emotional intelligence is a journey – it’s not something that you can achieve overnight. It takes time, patience, and practice. But it’s definitely worth it!
Recommended reading: 5 Reasons Why SEL Should be Added to the School Curriculum
First Step
Start with this: focus on you!
Work on managing your emotions better.
Ask yourself the following questions:
– How am I reacting to my emotions?
– What are some healthy ways that I can cope with my emotions?
– How can I be a better role model for my kids with emotional intelligence?
Take some time to reflect on your answers. Then, put a plan in place to work on your emotions. This could involve anything from practicing some relaxation techniques to journaling about your emotions.
Don’t forget to download our free resource to help you through the journey of developing emotional intelligence in your kids!
If you struggle to do it yourself, reach out for help. There are many resources available to you, including books, articles, websites, coaches, and our Emotional Intelligence Kit.
