Sometimes our struggles make us feel that we have no control over life. The struggle could be dealing with a toxic boss, managing work and life, or dealing with a tantrum-throwing child. All these could cause a feeling of powerlessness and self-pity, making you feel like a victim of life. When left unattended, this victim mindset makes you pessimistic about life and limits your potential in ways that you don’t know. So, here are three major signs of victim mentality and tips to overcome them.
Signs that you are playing the victim card
You could have a victim mindset, if
1. You feel bad things happen only for you.
You feel that you are the only one with the worst struggle and find it hard to relate to others. You can’t help but envy others as you believe they have it easy.
2. You feel that you have no control over your life.
You think that there is nothing in your control and that things will never change no matter what you do. For example, if you are trapped in an abusive relationship, recognize the wrong that is happening, realize your self-worth and take charge of your life.
3. You blame others for everything that goes wrong.
This stops you from taking responsibility for your actions. This keeps you in your comfort zone, ensuring that you don’t take risks because of the chances of failure.
4. You believe that the world is against you.
When you think so, you keep looking for things to go wrong and are in a hypervigilant mode always to keep it from going wrong, although there is no threat. This affects your ability to trust and build relationships.
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How to overcome it?
When you realize that you have been playing the victim card all your life, it’s always better to work on changing it, as there’s always another side to everything. Here are a few things to remind yourself of when you feel victimized in future.
1. In every situation, there are some things in your control and some that are not. Focus on the things you can control, and let go of those you can’t.
2. Start taking responsibility. Ponder on what you want in life and set goals. Working towards your life goals can feel empowering as you drive life in the direction you want it to go.
3. Practice journaling. Set aside time every day to reflect on what went well. This can help you focus on the good things in life when you get too caught up in your negative spirals. Maintain a gratitude journal to document these so that you can come back to it whenever you feel that everything is going south.
4. Connect with people more to understand what’s going on around you. This helps you see that everyone struggles in their life, makes you feel less alone and gives you a sense of relief.
To conclude,
While the victim mindset is something you involuntarily develop, it becomes a part of your identity if you don’t recognize, unlearn it and stop playing the victim card. So, remember that no struggle is permanent and that you can always decide to take action to feel better.
