Thomas Edison failed 1,000 times before he successfully created the light bulb.
12 publishing houses rejected J. K. Rowling before her book, “Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone,” was accepted.
They fired Oprah Winfrey from her job as a television reporter because she was “not fit for television.”
Imagine what we would have missed if these people had given up after their first failure.
Kids need to know that it’s okay to fail.
In fact, it’s essential to fail. Why?
Because failure is how we learn and grow. We learn from our mistakes, and we become better people.
Thomas Edison put it best: “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
So, the next time your child comes home from school feeling disappointed about a test they didn’t do well on, or a project they didn’t get an A+ for, remind them of these famous failures.
I wish my parents did the same for me.
But their way of dealing with failure was to tell me:
It wasn’t acceptable and that I should have tried harder.
Their intention was to motivate me, but all it did was make me feel like a failure.
I’m sure they didn’t mean to, but their words had a lasting effect on me.
As a result, I became scared of failing and stopped taking risks.
Another common route I have seen parents take is to:
Shift the blame on someone or something else when their child fails.
“The teacher must have not explained the material well enough.”
“You would have gotten an A if it wasn’t for that one mean kid who always puts you down.”
Shifting the blame does nothing but teach kids it’s okay to make excuses and avoid taking responsibility for their own actions.
Then there is another toxic approach:
Comparing your child to other kids who are “doing better.”
“Your cousin got an A on their math test, why can’t you?”
“Johnny is already reading at a fourth-grade level, why are you still stuck on third-grade books?”
Comparisons like these just make kids feel inferior and like they can never measure up.
Kids take forever to unlearn this way of thinking, and it can hold them back their entire lives. Take it from me, someone who wasted years of her life making excuses.
So, what’s the best way to deal with failure?
The answer is simple: encourage kids to embrace it.
Tell them it’s okay to make mistakes, and that everyone fails at some point.
Accepting failure is the first step to developing a growth mindset.
You see, growth mindset is the key to living a successful and fulfilling life.
People with a growth mindset believe that they can improve with practice and effort.
They don’t see failure as a sign that they’re not good enough; they see it as an opportunity to learn and grow. Let them understand failure is a good thing.
So, the next time your child comes home feeling discouraged, take a moment to talk to them about failure.
Help them understand that it’s a natural part of life and that it’s nothing to be ashamed of.
