It’s been a long day, and you’re at school to pick your kid up.
When you get your kid, you find out that your kid has a bruise.
“What happened?” you ask.
“You know that kid who is always bullying everyone? He (she) has hit me. I did nothing to provoke that!” your kid replies.
What would you do?
Confront the kid that hurt your kid? Confront the parent of that kid? Yell at them?
There are a lot of things you can do when your child gets hurt by another child. But, before you do anything, you need to take a deep breath and calm down.
1. Take a step back
Before you act, it’s important to take a step back and assess the situation. This will help you determine what, if any, action you need to take.
Remember that what your child says is not always accurate.
Your child may not be giving you the complete story. They may leave out important details or exaggerate what happened.
It’s important to get the other side of the story before you take any action.
2. Consider your child’s age and development
Keep in mind your child’s age and development when considering how to respond.
A younger child may not understand what happened and may need your help to process it. An older child may be more upset and may need your support to deal with the situation.
Think about what would be most helpful for your child at the moment.
3. Talk, don’t confront
If you decide to talk to the other child’s parent, it’s important to do so in a calm and respectful way.
Confronting the other parent will only make the situation worse and could put your child in danger.
Instead, try to have a conversation with the other parent about what happened.
They are also dealing with their kid to the best of their abilities. Don’t approach thinking that the other parent is a bad person or not a good enough parent.
Some parents may not want to talk to you. If this is the case, you can always talk to the school’s principal or another staff member.
4. Focus on your child’s needs
Your child is the one who was hurt, so it’s important to focus on their needs.
Make sure your child is okay physically and emotionally. If your child is injured, take them to the doctor.
If your child is upset, talk to them about what happened. Listen to your child and validate their big feelings.
Reassure your child that they are not responsible for what happened and that you are there to support them.
Help your child cope with what happened. This may include talking to a counselor or therapist.
5. Teach your child how to stand up for themselves
If your child is being bullied, it’s important to teach them how to stand up for themselves.
Talk to your child about what they can do the next time they are bullied.
Help them express and regulate their emotions when letting go of a friendship. Practice role-playing with your child so they can practice what to do in a safe environment.
Recommended reading: What To Do When You Don’t Like Your Child’s Friend
Recommended reading: Best Children’s Books About Friendship
6. Get support from the school
If the situation is serious, involve the school.
The school can help investigate what happened and take steps to prevent it from happening again.
The school may also provide counseling or other support for your child.
No one wants to deal with their child getting hurt, especially by another child. It’s difficult to know what to do in these situations. But, by taking a step back and focusing on your child’s needs, you can help your child through it.
