Woohoo! playing all day with your friends at school, running here and there with them, teasing, laughing, jumping, having such great fun whole day but then suddenly day passes by. You are now in a phase where you have to sit still for hours, focusing all your attention on some math problem or some history question. This is surely not amazing and thus children often end up not liking the process of homework and don’t perform well in exams and on top of all this doesn’t gain any knowledge.
Child refusing to do homework is a very common problem every other parent is facing nowadays.
Why is my child not doing the homework?
Is there something wrong with them?
How can I make them do their homework?
What will be their future?
All this makes the process of homework very chaotic and hectic, both for parents and children, and the process often ends up in screaming, crying, yelling, and whatnot! But do not worry.
So, what to do when your child refuses to do homework?
1. Stay calm
While doing homework, try to avoid screaming, yelling, and arguing when your child fails to solve a math problem or doesn’t correctly answer some history or geography question.
Remember that your child is still learning, and they will slowly develop their memory and learning capacity. Your yelling and screaming will simply make them cry, make them feel they are not good enough, and the process of doing homework will become challenging and scary.
So, stay calm; allow your child enough time to make mistakes and learn from them.
2. Empathize
Homework is surely a whole new process for kids. They need time to understand and internalize the process of doing homework and understand the importance and implication of doing homework. So, they need support, empathy, and love rather than strictness. They need your help and understanding.
Next time when your child refuses to do homework, show empathy. Let them know that you understand them and that you understand their challenges. Also, try and understand their learning styles. According to Ty Treadwell (2007) parents need to pay attention to students’ differences in interests and learning styles.
3. Make it fun
Stop portraying homework as something your child ought to do the job. Stop referring to homework as something different from fun and play. Stop telling them that they can’t play until they are done with their homework.
Here’s why. When you portray homework as something very different from play, as something which is not fun, your child will never enjoy the process. Moreover, since you have created a great distinction between play and homework, this will make them love playing more than homework.
Make the homework-doing process fun with little breaks in between. Start making both (homework and play) sound the same. Talk about both with equal enthusiasm. Tell your child that learning is fun and that they will learn something new when doing homework.
4. Stop referring to ‘no homework’ as some reward
For doing something good or learning quickly, never give ‘no homework’ as a reward as this creates a further distinction between fun (play) and something (homework) they are doing out of force. Over time they will start perceiving this as a shortcut for not doing homework. This will also lower the value of homework.
Learning and doing homework is essential; no matter what, it must be done regularly every day. So normalize doing homework as a part of your child’s daily routine, just like brushing their teeth, bathing or eating.
5. Acquaint them with consequences
Make them understand the importance of doing homework and what would be the negative consequences if they don’t complete homework on time. Make them understand the importance homework and learning everyday holds in their life.
Tell them that if they don’t do homework, they won’t be able to revise what was taught in the class; and this way, they will start to forget the concepts after a few hours. This, in turn, will impact their grades.
Conclusion: When your child refuses to do homework
In a study by Darling-Hammond and Ifill-Lynch (2006), the researchers found that a sizeable number of students didn’t really know how to do the homework well enough to get any satisfaction from it. Given the importance of homework, your focus as a parent needs to be on making homework fun, making learning an enjoyable process. This, in turn, will make children happy and satisfied after doing homework and reduce the chances of your child refusing to do homework.
