Bothered because your child is turning into living Pinocchio? Calm down. Children lie. Consider it normal and inevitable. Lying, like other behavioral traits, is a part of growing up. In fact, it’s a positive sign. It shows that a child has accomplished the ability to distinguish between reality and imagination. While it is normal during the initial years, but it can trouble if the frequency and intensity accelerate. So, it becomes crucial to observe the patterns and most common reasons behind their lies.
1. You taught them
Don’t be surprised, but subconsciously, you taught them how to be a pro-liar. Maybe they learnt it when you told your boss you were ill when you didn’t want to attend a meeting. Parents have a key role in shaping lying tendencies. Adults who lie, implicitly teach their kids to lie. Kids learn more by observing you and your behaviors than your truth-telling stories about ‘honesty is the best policy’ or ‘the boy who cried wolf’.
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2. To avoid punishment
We all have been there. The fear of punishment is so prominent that it provokes children to lie. This could include incidents where they scored low marks or on stealing something. Remember that punishments do more harm than good. They turn kids into better and faster liars.
3. To avoid embarrassment
It is quite normal for growing kids to wet their beds, and children often lie about it as they are ashamed. These lies are not detrimental and are self-protective lies.
4. They feel alienated
It’s natural for kids to crave attention. As a result, children lie. It could be as trivial as saying that they are sick and make parents stay around them. This often takes the shape of melodramatic lies when kids are desperate for love and attention and might complain that you don’t have time for them like other parents and so on.
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5. They had no choice
This is solely determined by the nature of your response that actively determines if they’ll continue to lie in the future or the pattern will mitigate. Harsh reactions might scare them and make them lie even more, as a kid’s self-preservation instinct is far stronger and more innate than your will to discipline them.
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6. Because lying is important
Don’t get me wrong. White lies are universal lubricant of social life. Recall the time when you taught your kid to praise the dish made by her aunt, though it was a terrible dish. Such lies are less detrimental and are important to preserve someone’s feelings.
7. Because it works
Sounds bizarre, but kids often lie without any concrete reason, mostly for fun. Regarded as pathological lying, it is often to impress someone and show how smartly and cleverly they can trick someone. Such lies are mostly seen during adolescence, where they seem to challenge the other person.
While it is a matter of concern, understand that lying is as normal as saying truth. It is a part of psychological growth. What’s important is to teach kids when to draw a boundary between altruistic lies and lies that can be detrimental and try reinforcing moments of truth and honesty to illustrate their importance.
