As soon as a child is born, parents start dreaming about their future. From the very beginning, they start to nurture their child’s talents, skills, and abilities. And as the child grows up, these expectations become more defined and specific.
Whether it’s getting good grades, excelling in sports, or pursuing a particular career, parents often have high expectations for their children.
But why do parents expect so much from their children?
Is it fair to put so much pressure on them?
In this blog post, we will explore the reasons behind parental expectations and how they can affect a child’s development.
Here are 5 reasons why parents expect so much from their children.
1. Own unfulfilled ambitions and aspirations
There are times when these what parents expect are not entirely based on the child’s abilities or interests. Instead, often parents expect children to fulfil their dreams. They may be projecting their unfulfilled ambitions and aspirations onto their children. This can lead to a situation where the parent’s dreams take priority over the child’s own desires and talents.
For instance, let’s take the example of a parent who had to give up their dream of becoming an architect due to financial constraints. They may urge their child to pursue architecture, regardless of whether the child is interested in the field or has the aptitude for it. Another example, a parent who always wanted to be a doctor may pressure their child to pursue a medical career, regardless of their child’s own interests and passions. This can put undue pressure on the child, leading to stress and anxiety. Moreover, it can create a sense of guilt in the child if they fail to live up to their parent’s expectations.
It is important for parents to understand that their children are individuals with their own unique talents and passions. Instead of imposing their own unfulfilled dreams and aspirations, parents should encourage their children to explore their interests and develop their skills. This will not only help the child find a sense of purpose and satisfaction, but it can also lead to success and achievement in their chosen field.
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2. Equating academic success with intelligence
Another common scenario is when parents push their children to excel in academics, even if the child has little interest or aptitude for it. This is particularly true in the Indian context, where academic success is often equated with intelligence and potential. Parents may see high academic achievements as the key to their child’s future success, and they want their children to secure a prestigious job and financial stability.
However, the problem with this approach is that it overlooks the importance of a child’s individual strengths and interests. Children have different strengths and abilities, and academic success is just one aspect of their overall potential. Focusing solely on academic success can create unnecessary pressure and stress for the child, leading to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem if they do not perform as expected.
Additionally, equating academic success with a child’s intelligence can limit their exploration of other interests and talents outside of the academic sphere. It can also lead to a narrow and rigid understanding of success, where anything outside of academic achievement is seen as a failure.
Parents should recognize that academic success is not the only indicator of future success in life. Soft skills such as communication, teamwork, and problem-solving are also critical for success in any career. Children who are encouraged to develop these skills alongside their academic pursuits are more likely to be well-rounded and successful in their chosen path.
3. Limited knowledge of new world career opportunities
Parents may have a limited understanding of the opportunities available to their children in today’s world and hence often prioritize conventional career paths such as medicine, engineering, law, or management. However, with the rise of the gig economy and technological advancements, new and unconventional career paths have emerged, such as content creation, digital marketing, and data science. Parents may not be aware of these opportunities and may be unknowingly limiting their children’s potential.
For example, a parent who is a dentist may not be aware of the potential of a career in data science. They may push their child to become a doctor too, without considering their child’s interests or aptitude for the field. However, the child may have a natural talent for analyzing data and could excel in a career in data science, which could provide them with ample opportunities to grow and succeed.
Another example could be the rise of social media influencers and content creators. Many parents may not consider this as a viable career option for their children and may discourage them from pursuing it. However, with the increasing influence of social media, being an influencer or content creator can be a lucrative career option. By not allowing their children to explore these new opportunities, parents may be limiting their children’s potential and success.
Parents may also have a fear of the unknown and may believe that traditional career paths offer more security and stability. However, the truth is that new and emerging fields also offer a significant amount of potential for growth and success. It is crucial for parents to keep an open mind and encourage their children to explore new fields and opportunities, even if they do not have a complete understanding of them.
4. Societal pressure
The pressure to produce successful children is deeply ingrained in the societal mindset. Parents are often judged based on their children’s achievements, which can lead to a constant need to ensure their children’s success. This pressure can be seen in various aspects of life, from education to career choices and even marriage.
Societal pressure on academic excellence:
One example of societal pressure can be seen in the parents expect children to excel academically. The education system in India is highly competitive, and parents feel the need to ensure that their children secure good grades and get into prestigious institutions. This is often fueled by a fear of being judged by society and the belief that success in academics is the only way to ensure a bright future for their children.
Societal pressure on career choices:
Similarly, career choices are often driven by societal expectations. Children are expected to pursue careers that are considered prestigious, such as engineering, medicine, or law. These careers are often seen as a measure of success and social status. Parents may push their children to pursue these careers, even if their children have different interests or passions.
Societal pressure on marriage:
Marriage is another area where societal pressure can be seen. Parents feel the need to ensure that their children get married to someone who is considered socially acceptable and can provide financial security. This pressure can lead to arranged marriages and can limit the choices available to children.
The pressure to produce successful children can also be seen in the way parents approach extracurricular activities. Children are expected to excel in multiple areas, including sports, music, and art. This pressure can lead to overscheduling and a lack of free time for children to pursue their own interests.
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5. Expecting best for their child
Many parents simply want the best for their child. They want to see their child succeed and live a happy and fulfilling life. This desire to provide the best opportunities and resources for their child can sometimes result in high expectations.
However, having too high expectations can have negative consequences on the child’s mental and emotional well-being. It can lead to anxiety, stress, and a constant fear of failure. Children may also feel pressure to conform to their parents’ expectations, which can result in a lack of creativity and individuality.
Therefore, it is important for parents to find a balance between having expectations for their children and allowing them to pursue their own interests and passions. Parents should communicate openly with their children, listen to their needs and desires, and support them in their endeavors, regardless of whether they align with the parents’ own aspirations.
In conclusion, parents expect a lot from their children for various reasons, such as unfulfilled dreams, societal pressure, and a desire for their child’s success. However, it is crucial for parents to understand the negative impact that high expectations can have on their children and to find a healthy balance between expectations and support.
