Malavika, a mother of an eight-year-old girl, tells how her daughter had suddenly become health conscious. Initially, she was happy as her daughter stopped eating junk food. But, over time, she came across repeated instances of her daughter crying, looking at herself in the mirror and refusing to wear a specific type of clothing. Concerned, Malavika asked her daughter what was bothering her and she was stunned into silence when her daughter said three simple words – I am fat!
The upcoming months took the mother-daughter on a journey of self-discovery and healing when her daughter also revealed how seemingly inconsequential remarks by her friends and family about her body bothered her. Malavika was guilt-ridden for her ignorance. Even she had called her own daughter ‘Golu’ many times.
Our words may sound simple, but they may weigh down quite heavily on an individual’s shoulders. Similarly, your child’s concern about their body image may seem trivial, but let me assure you, it is not.
The way we perceive our ‘self’ and ‘body image’ plays a crucial role in our mental wellbeing. Contentment with our body image boosts our self-esteem and gives us the confidence to be comfortable in our own body. You want your child to love their body, nurture it and treasure it for the gift it is.
So, the question remains what is body image?
Understanding body image
Well, to break it down in simple words, body image is how a person perceives their own body and the feelings associated with the same perception.
A survey by Mental Health Foundation revealed that although both boys and girls are affected by body image issues, girls are more likely to be dissatisfied with their body appearances than boys. However, that doesn’t mean you don’t have to look out for your little boy. He is not impervious. His self-esteem and self-worth, too, can get affected by a negative body image.
Now, the question is how to deal with this?
What to do in a situation when your child says, “I am fat!” with a forlorn expression?
Here are five things to do when your child says something like mentioned above.
Recommended reading: Be a Part of the Beauty Conversation with Your Daughter
Recommended reading: What To Do When Your Child Talks Back Rudely
5 Things To Do When Your Child Says “I Am Fat!”
1. Listen to their worries
Something that you immediately need to do when your child says ‘I am fat’ is to listen to their worries and try to see the situation from their perspective. Being a little chubby for an eight-year-old may not seem like a big deal to many parents as we all know how adolescence and adulthood can tax one’s body. But that doesn’t mean your child’s fears are irrelevant. Try to analyze the situation from their perspective and understand how deeply it is affecting them.
Research studies show that children who are brought up in a body-positive environment show a protective factor against body image issues. So talking to your child and ensuring that they are perfect the way they are, helps in developing a protective factor.
2. Teach your child about being truly healthy
Everyone’s physical appearance and body size are different. A seemingly thin child may not always be a healthy one. The same goes for a child who looks bigger in size. If your child is concerned about their body fat, you need to help them evaluate their health. If your child is physically fit and fulfils all necessary parameters of BMI, height, weight, etc., then they do not have to worry about how they appear outwardly. Help them value their health more over looks.
3. Make them read books about diversity and cultures around the world
Books are the most wonderful and magical thing to ever exist in this world. They help your child understand different aspects of the world and develop their worldview. Inculcating reading habits will help your child see things from different perspectives and appreciate the differences.
Today your child might just worry about looking a little fat, but tomorrow their worry might take form of skin color dissatisfaction or skinny looks. Books based on body positivity and diversity can help children feel comfortable in their own bodies. But, do not pick a heavy read; just go with some age-appropriate book that conveys the message clearly.
4. Put some effort into deciding your child’s nickname
The fourth thing on our list is finding good nicknames. Malavika’s own mistake was calling her slightly chubby but beautiful daughter ‘Golu’. Do not be like Malavika. While Malavika and other family members might have not noticed how it could affect their child’s esteem, you can after reading this article.
Do not name your child ‘Golu’, ‘Aaloo’, or something seemingly innocuous name. It’s not cute when it ends up hurting your child. If you change your daily vocabulary and choose your words wisely, it will definitely help your child develop self-confidence and be body-positive.
5. Help them change their perception
Children’s perception is often distorted because of popular culture, role models, media, and peers. Help them see the reality of the world and how no one is perfect. Changing their skewed perception of body image will help your child enforce body positivity.
The power of being confident in one’s true and natural self is undefeated. While donning suits can power up a person, nothing beats the satisfaction one’s true self holds. At the end of the day, tell your children to love themselves for their uniqueness. There is nothing greater than self-love.
