Finally, it’s time when your daughter will be wrapping a saree and be all set to rock her school farewell. Though four months to go, the hunt has already begun. Hunt to find the perfect saree, matching heels and earrings, the most suitable lipstick shade and foundation, endlessly scrolling Instagram to see the latest trend, how to lose at least four kilos, and dance steps to set the stage on fire. She has started to adjust without spectacles despite your disapproval and is urging you to get her braces off for the farewell. She was convinced that she would never look as beautiful as other girls, and bagging the ‘Miss Farewell’ tag would only be a dream if she entered in a saree with huge spectacles and braces – a perfect situation to have the beauty conversation with your daughter.
As a mother, you want your little princess to shine and also know her idea of beauty is not what you want her to adopt. Apart from all the other skills that a mother passes onto her daughter, beauty is also one of them. Describing this six-letter word can be challenging, especially in the 21st century, where the idea of beauty is highly dictated by external media. For media, beauty is summed up as having fair skin; as people like saying, the lighter, the better.
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This pseudo definition of beauty is so prevalent that even Priyanka Chopra, former Miss World, couldn’t escape it. She opened up on how growing as a dark-skinned girl made her feel ugly, and she wanted to do everything to make her skin lighter. Contrary to this, in a world where people are running after whitening and skin lightening methods, 24-year Nyakim Gatwech, or ‘Queen of the dark’ as she is known is winning hearts with her beauty. This might raise a lot of eyebrows as she is the polar opposite of what people generally expound on the idea of beauty.
A too good to be true reality is that beauty is abstract and is devoid of any concrete definition. Yes! Apart from traditional, external, and societal concepts, there is hardly any source that defines beauty as having a certain body shape or size, height, skin colour, etc. Your beauty should not come from outward adornments, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Instead, beauty lies in your inner self, the unfazed beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. Thirukkural, a Tamil text, says that if a man cannot contemplate and analyse things, his physical beauty is nothing more than a manikin made of mud.
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Controlling your daughter’s media exposure is practically impossible but introducing her to what should be her ideal definition of beauty is possible. Media implants a flawed idea that self-worth is determined by physical appearance. Make sure that your daughter’s basic definition of beauty is not ‘fair skin’ but ‘values’, an amalgamation of confidence, competence, and the act of kindness. It becomes essential to applaud her values and have the beauty conversation with your daughter. Make her conscious that she is defined beyond her looks. Remind her often that she is pretty; pretty smart, pretty kind, and pretty amazing no matter what. All this doesn’t imply that you are depriving her of putting makeup if that makes her happy. You just need to assert that she should be happy even without makeup and that makeup shouldn’t be her sole identity. It’s just a small part of her.
More than loving yourself for the positive qualities, it is equally important to embrace your imperfections. Understand that no one is perfect. This journey of bashing traditional definition is an uphill battle but not impossible if given the right effort and approach. Beauty is usually perceived as a relative term where people try to look like someone. It’s important to note that every masterpiece is valued because of its uniqueness. Had it been a similar version of another masterpiece, it would lose its value. Your daughter is no less than a masterpiece. She will rock her farewell wearing spectacles and braces!
