Parenting doesn’t come with a manual. Every parent has to build their strategies or get help from others to raise a child. One of the biggest challenges that parents face is disciplining their children. They use different disciplining techniques. Some disciplining techniques, though, might seem to work in the short term; they leave an emotional scar on the child. Here are the top 10 disciplining mistakes that you should avoid.
1. Yelling
Yelling, here, refers to talking loudly and using harsh language. Never yell at your child, especially in public. It embarrasses them and hurts their self-esteem. Shouting also encourages rebellious behavior and causes aggression in children.
A loud voice attracts attention. But when you yell at a child, they will not focus on your message. Instead, they will feel rejected and unloved. Talk to your child about their behavior and explain to them why they need to change it.
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2. Corporal punishment
No matter how mild it is, corporal punishment is not acceptable. Never hit your child to discipline them. It sends a message that hitting others to get something from them is acceptable. They might physically hurt their siblings and peers during confrontations.
Physical pain or discomfort does not correct misbehavior. It might only suppress such tendencies.
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3. Overreacting
When your child does something wrong, avoid reacting strongly. An intense reaction takes away the focus from their deed. They begin to think that you are being mean and may aggressively respond to you. Stay calm and give a warning.
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4. Empty threats
Threats sound scary and might work initially, but the child will not understand why they should change their behavior. After a while, they will know that the parents do not mean such threats and will become reluctant to change. Do not use threats to discipline your child. They may lead to stress and depression.
5. Lying
Some parents tell lies to get their children to follow the rules or act in a certain way in fear. Upon discovery of the lies, it may challenge the trust of the children. They will not be able to trust what their parents say.
Recommended reading: Why Children Lie?
6. Lack of agreement between the parents
When it comes to making rules for the kids, parents have to agree on similar things. If one parent says a particular behavior is okay while the other discourages it, the child becomes confused. If the parents have divergent approaches to parenting, they should discuss and decide what works for the child.
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7. Angry outbursts
If you are in a bad mood, do not discipline your child. You are more likely to vent your frustration on the child when you are upset. The goal is to teach discipline to your child and not to scar them. So avoid such disciplining mistakes and save your child from unnecessary stress by giving yourself time to feel better.
Recommended reading: 7 Parenting Mistakes That Can Cause Childhood Trauma
8. Not allowing your child to explain themselves
Do not jump to conclusions when you catch your child doing something inappropriate. Let them explain their behavior. By reacting too fast, you accuse them of something they might have done unintentionally. Be patient and ask them what’s wrong.
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9. Comparisons
Every child has a unique personality. As a parent, your objective should be to help your children reach their potential. Comparing your children to others encourages competition and causes jealousy and resentment.
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10. Overlooking bad behavior
Sometimes parents tend to ignore a certain bad behavior and let it continue in hopes that the child will eventually stop doing it as they grow older. But in reality, the behavior will continue in adulthood if it is not corrected and might lead to even worse behavior.
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Disciplining is not an easy task, and it’s important to remember that what works for one child may not work for another. You need to be patient and consistent in teaching proper behavior to kids. Be conscious and ensure that you are not making these disciplining mistakes.
