If you have also heard people say that parents can spot their child’s fake friends way early, then they aren’t really wrong. It’s is not tough for them to sense that, and their concern is quite genuine. An old quote says if you truly wish to know about a person, simply watch his friends. This is because they more or less share the same behavioral attributes. As a parent, you might not like your child’s friend for for certain genuine reasons. If you are looking ways for how to deal with such situations and ways of navigating the friendship drama without jumping to extreme decisions, here are some of the approaches that you must consider:
1. Communicate
First things first. Talk to your child regarding the bond they share with their friend. By doing this, you get to know the depth of their bond from your child’s perspective. Talk about the good and bad times they have shared and what they like or hate the most about their friend. See if both of you dislike the same things or have a different say. Talk as if you were a friend so that they don’t hesitate. This will help you build a roadmap to take any further action.
2. Maintaining Distance
Asking your child to spend less time with the friend you don’t like could be one of the first subtle steps you should be taking. This way, you can easily abate their impact on your child, without being harsh. It’s good to inform your child of why you have taken the step so that they are also clear where to draw a line between their friends. Further, if the situation demands, you can decide whether to continue like that or take any extreme step.
Recommended reading: What To Do When Your Child Gets Hurt By Another Child
Recommended reading: 5 Signs It’s Time To Let Go Of a Friendship
3. Teach Them About Good Friends
Since kids make friends without any checklist, they end up with friends you don’t like. The best and safest way to ensure that your child hangs out with a good friend is to educate them about the ideal definition of good friends. Get them books about friendship. Widen their perspective regarding an ideal friend and also how they can be a good friend for others. Our Indian mythology is filled with such tales of true friendship, but to begin with, state simple things that a good friend will never bully you, belittle you, and so on. When you do this, you teach them what to look for in a friend. If you successfully do so, you will see that they will be cautious of who to friendzone and who not to.
4. Express Your Concern
Since you have been observing their friends’ behaviors for quite some time, it’s time to tell your kids about the same. Be careful that the conversation flows like a discussion where both of you share your opinions and not like a judgement from your side. State how they might be negatively influencing your child’s life, and it’s time to take action about it. Make sure that you present all of your reasons without offending them. The idea is to reaffirm that you are truly concerned regarding your kid’s company and want them to hang out with good friends.
5. Talking To Parents
Imagine a situation where your child’s best friend shows up to play during study time, and it constantly bothers you. In such situations when you don’t like your child’s friend, you can’t ask your child to not be friends with him. Instead, you can talk to their parents or simply tell his friend that you have certain discipline regarding playtime and study time. Remember that a lot of your disliking can be resolved by taking such small steps only.
Bottom Line
We value your concern for your child, but how you bring this topic should be more concerning as it significantly impacts your child. Be careful of things that you shouldn’t be doing, such as demeaning them for their choices or talking bad about their friends, as that might take a toll on their mental well-being.
