Grandparents hold a special place in every child’s heart. They are the ones who spoil them, pamper them and love them unconditionally. However, sometimes grandparents may hold traditional beliefs and practices that may not align with modern-day values. One such situation is when grandparents prefer their grandsons over their granddaughters and do not believe in gender-neutral parenting. In this blog post, we will explore the impact of such preferences and how to handle the situation.
The challenges when grandparents prefer grandson over granddaughter
In India, the preference for a grandson over a granddaughter is not uncommon, and it has been prevalent in the society for a long time. While the situation has improved over the years, it still persists in many families, causing significant harm to the affected families.
The preference for a male child stems from the cultural and societal beliefs that a male child can carry forward the family name, lineage, and assets. Daughters, on the other hand, are often seen as a burden, as they are expected to marry and move to their husband’s family, taking their financial assets with them. This cultural bias has contributed to the practice of female feticide and infanticide, which is a prevalent issue in India.
When grandparents prefer grandson over granddaughter, it has serious implications on family dynamics and relationships. We will explain some of the challenges here.
1. Impact on granddaughter
When grandparents prefer a grandson over a granddaughter, it can cause significant emotional harm to the family. The granddaughter may feel neglected, unimportant, and unloved, leading to low self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy. The grandson, on the other hand, may develop a sense of entitlement and superiority, leading to narcissistic behaviors and attitudes.
2. Impact on sibling relationships
This preference can also create a rift between siblings, especially if one child is favored over the other. The preferred child may receive more attention, affection, and privileges, leading to jealousy and resentment from the unfavored child.
3. Interference with parenting style
This preference perpetuates gender stereotypes, and it reinforces the idea that men are superior to women. It can also discourage parents from practicing gender-neutral parenting, which is essential for the overall development and growth of the child.
In some cases, grandparents may even try to interfere with the parenting style of the parents, enforcing their gender bias on the child. This can cause tension and conflict between the parents and the grandparents, affecting the overall well-being of the family.
4. Impact on family dynamics
Moreover, this preference can lead to a toxic family dynamic, with siblings competing for attention and affection. It can create feelings of jealousy and resentment between siblings, which can strain their relationship. The granddaughter may feel less valued, leading to a sense of disconnection and distance from the grandparents.
So, the preference for a grandson over a granddaughter is a prevalent issue in India that continues to cause harm to families. It’s time to break the cycle of gender bias and embrace gender-neutral parenting. Every child deserves to be loved, cherished, and treated with equality, and it’s up to us, as a society, to ensure that we give them the environment they need to grow and thrive.
Recommended reading: Dealing with Toxic Grandparents: Red Flags and Coping Strategies
Recommended reading: 10 Best Ways Of Dealing With Interfering Grandparents
Importance of gender-neutral parenting in today’s world
Gender neutral parenting is becoming increasingly important in the present world due to various reasons. The traditional gender roles and stereotypes that have been reinforced for generations are slowly but surely becoming irrelevant. With the advent of technology and globalization, there has been a greater emphasis on equality and inclusivity in all aspects of life, including parenting.
Here are some reasons why gender-neutral parenting is important:
1. Equality
Gender neutral parenting promotes equality between all children, regardless of their gender. By treating boys and girls the same, parents can help their children grow up with the understanding that gender doesn’t define who they are or what they can do.
2. Freedom of expression
Children who grow up with the freedom to express themselves without worrying about gender stereotypes are more likely to be confident and self-assured. This allows them to explore their interests and talents without fear of judgment or criticism.
3. Respect
When children are taught to respect all genders equally, it fosters a sense of respect for all individuals, regardless of their gender identity. It also teaches them to be empathetic and understanding towards those who may be different from them.
4. Breaking the cycle
Gender neutral parenting can help break the cycle of gender stereotypes that have been perpetuated for generations. By teaching children to question gender roles and expectations, parents can help create a world where everyone is free to be themselves.
5. Inclusivity
Gender neutral parenting is inclusive of all gender identities, including non-binary and transgender individuals. By teaching children to be accepting and inclusive of all genders, parents can help create a more inclusive society.
Recommended reading: When Grandparents Are Manipulative, Controlling and Self-serving
Handling the Situation where grandparents prefer grandson over grand daughter
It is important to address the issue and set boundaries to ensure a healthy family dynamic. Here are some ways to handle the situation:
1. Communicate
Have an open and honest conversation with the grandparents about the impact of their behavior. Explain how it is affecting the grandchild and ask them to be more mindful of their actions.
2. Educate
Help grandparents understand the importance of gender-neutral parenting and the need for equal treatment of all grandchildren. Provide them with resources and information to broaden their understanding and perspective.
3. Set boundaries
Establish clear boundaries and expectations for the grandparents’ behavior. Make it clear that gender-based preferences and discrimination will not be tolerated.
4. Involve parents
Seek the support of parents in handling the situation. Together, establish a united front and communicate expectations to the grandparents.
5. Prioritize the grandchild’s well-being
Above all, prioritize the grandchild’s well-being. Ensure that they feel loved, valued, and supported. Provide them with a safe space to express their feelings and emotions.
Conclusion: When grandparents prefer grandson over grand daughter
Grandparents hold a special place in every child’s life, and their love and affection are invaluable. However, when grandparents prefer their grandsons over their granddaughters and do not believe in gender-neutral parenting, it can create a toxic family dynamic and have long-lasting effects on the grandchild’s mental health and well-being. It is essential to address the issue and set boundaries to ensure a healthy family dynamic. By communicating, educating, setting boundaries, involving parents, and prioritizing the grandchild’s well-being, we can ensure that all grandchildren receive equal love and attention from their grandparents.
