Has this ever happened with you that you firmly believed in your potential when the whole world thought it was not your cup of tea?
If your answer is yes, continue reading as we will explore how you got that belief and how you can help our kids develop that in themselves.
This belief in yourself comes from our mindset. Mindset shapes how we think and how we behave. Mindset helps us interpret our experiences and understand our knowledge. Mindset drives us to seize new opportunities and write our success stories.
Understanding growth mindset
Researchers recognize two types of mindset – growth mindset and fixed mindset.
When we believe that we can improve our intelligence and abilities over time and with effort irrespective of age, it is a growth mindset. All you need is the right strategies in place to drive a growth mindset. Passion for learning, taking up challenges and considering failure as a stepping stone characterize a growth mindset. Time and again, researchers have established a strong correlation between growth mindset and happiness and success in life.
On the other hand, when we believe that intelligence and abilities cannot be altered, it is called a fixed mindset. People with a fixed mindset often fear trying new things to avoid risks. They think mistakes are unpardonable and do not consider mistakes as natural to the learning process. Such people may find the need to repeatedly prove themselves over and over again.
Most parents skip teaching growth mindset. It can be because of either of the two reasons.
- They practice a growth mindset and think that their kids would automatically learn it.
- They have a fixed mindset, but they fail to realize the same. So don’t make this mistake.
Teaching children about growth mindset is not easy. But, trust me, it will become the greatest contribution you will ever make for their future – securing lifelong success and happiness.
Developing growth mindset in children
Here are my ways to introduce and inculcate a growth mindset in children.
1. Tell them again and again that our brain can grow stronger.
To your children, it might sound as if having a brain wasn’t enough, and now they have to prove that their brain can change. The more they believe in the mantra, the more confident they will be to take up challenges. Explain it to them in this way. Regular exercise makes our body strong; strengthens our muscles. In the same way, learning new things and taking up challenges strengthen our brain. Our brain is capable of doing amazing things through constantly practicing a growth mindset.
2. Introduce the concept of two mindsets.
Help them understand the difference between fixed and growth mindset. Books can be your best friend here. In stories, characters that have different personalities, different approaches to responding to situations can help kids understand the concept.
Recommended reading: Top 20 Books to Help Kids Develop Growth Mindset
3. Appreciate the effort.
Prioritize the effort over the result. Emphasize their approach to the challenge and effort. If your child has put in genuine effort to complete a challenging assignment in a subject that is not their favourite and achieved a decent grade (not the best), appreciate the child for the effort and never give up attitude.
Praise focusing on intelligence will promote a fixed mindset. Children with fixed mindset tend to believe that people are born with certain personality traits, intelligence, and creativity, which remain constant for life. They believe whatever they do revolve around this fixed premise. In contrast, when praise focuses on the effort, it promotes a growth mindset. It promotes the belief that intelligence can grow with effort. It can boost their self-esteem and self-confidence.
Recommended reading: The Power Of Positive Affirmations For Kids
4. Encourage them to be persistent.
Whenever you see them pushing their boundaries and going that extra mile towards a goal; acknowledge them. Appreciate them. Do this persistently. I am not asking you to gush out praise every time. Just acknowledge – either verbally or through your body language. The idea is to send the message that you have noticed. This goes a long way to motivate children to persistently apply growth mindset in whatever they do.
5. Use the word ‘yet’ more often.
What if the word FAIL (read failing grade) in grade sheets is replaced by NOT YET. Just see the magic of how a negative word is quickly turned into something with a positive undertone. A negative feeling of “I can’t do this / I don’t understand this transitioned to I will try new ways to get there. The word YET has the power to acknowledge efforts already put in, encourage and motivate. YET has the power to create persistence in children. It reduces anxiety as the focus is not reaching an end but enjoying the learning process.
When your child says, “I don’t know how to do this”; tell them that “you don’t know how to do this yet.” Keep doing this persistently for days, months, years together. After some time, you will notice that the child has adopted this word in their self-talk, and they only drive themselves to explore more, to push the boundary. Self-talk is a very powerful tool.
But growth mindset should not be misinterpreted. It is not a short-term approach to make the kids with low achievement feel good for the moment. Instead, it is a long-term approach to teaching the child to learn and develop strategies for better outcomes.
6. Lead by example.
Children learn best by observing their parents. Let your kids witness your struggles. Let them see that you are okay when something doesn’t work as planned. Talk about the things that you learnt in the process and how you do differently the next time. It is more important to have a growth mindset than to be perfect. Practice thinking out loud. Say, ‘I need to figure out better ways to do this and keep trying’; instead of ‘I can’t do this”. The more you adopt this attitude, the more your child will do the same.
Recommended reading: 3 Steps To Teach Your Child To Be Empathetic
7. Be open to failure.
Talk about failures freely. There is nothing wrong with showing your vulnerabilities. This will take out the anxiety from attempting and increase willingness to take risks. This will encourage children to experiment with different ways of doing things, and they will learn what works and what doesn’t. This, in turn, will enhance the child’s creativity, problem-solving skills, and risk appetite. Encourage self-advocacy.
8. Look at the brighter side of failure and challenges.
Tell them that failures do not mean being doomed. Challenges do not mean the end of the world. These are opportunities to introspect, learn, grow and excel. In high school, I remember my teacher had once said that you make a mistake only when you make an effort. The fact that you made a mistake shows that you have attempted to solve a problem. Once you make a mistake, you will be forced to find out what went wrong, and in the process, you will learn something new. This encourages continuous learning and improvement. Thus, mistakes will help our brain grow.
9. Don’t label your kids.
There is this one thing that you should never do if you are trying to develop a growth mindset in kids. This one mistake can ruin all your efforts. Don’t label your kids. Don’t say, “Maybe mathematics is just not your subject.” This promotes a fixed mindset. This will convey the message that the child cannot improve at it. Instead, talk about what they can do differently. Help them strategize differently by exploring their strengths and weaknesses in the subject and the opportunities that can be explored. Do not label other kids also. For example, he is good at mathematics. Instead of motivating your kid, it will limit their belief and mindset.
So, focus on the big picture and develop a growth mindset in children. It is achieving the larger life goals that matter.
Do you want to explore the subject and find out how to help your kid develop a growth mindset?
Check out our Growth Mindset Workshop here!
