The data stating how significantly the self-help books market shot up in the previous years made me question whether people are turning into readers or they are searching for ways to get rid of their unhappiness and anxiety. Most of you would agree that we have conditioned ourselves in a way that invites unhappiness, mental stress, anxiety, and everything that messes up with a healthy lifestyle. Our actions have become habitual to the extent that we don’t even realise until we contemplate them. While self-care books might come to your rescue, look up the following habits if you wish to know the genesis of your unhappiness, to understand find out if you are chasing unhappiness.
1. Having It All Attitude
The quest of having everything, especially possessions leave people unsatisfied rather than happy. Slowly takes the shape of what people refer to as perfectionism, which is often counterproductive. People don’t realise that the source of happiness resides in one’s mind and not somewhere external. Focus on creating happiness than chasing unhappiness.
2. Unrealistic Expectations
It’s amazing to be driven and work for something passionately, but chasing something that seems to be farfetched often leads to sorrow and disappointment. Having expectations is not wrong, but being prepared to face the consequences if things don’t go as per plan is what one needs to understand.
3. Constant Complaining
No matter what, if you are someone who finds faults and cribs about it, you certainly can never be happy. You are simply chasing unhappiness. Furthermore, the continuous cycle of negative thought shrinks your ability of problem-solving as well as overall cognitive thinking.
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4. Worrying Too Much
Well, it’s natural to worry but knowing what to worry about and how much to worry about becomes the key differentiator here. Worrying about things that are not in your control does nothing except making you unhappy. This is the main reason why emotionally intelligent people showcase more happiness than others.
5. Unnecessary Comparisons
It is okay if you compare yourself to improve, but not all comparisons are healthy, especially when it becomes a breeding ground for jealousy, lower self-esteem, and sadness. The reason why Finland has been declared as the world’s happiest country for four consecutive years is that people focus more on co-operation which brings down the level of unnecessary competition and conflicts.
6. People Pleasing
We all have been there. Doing things that we never really wanted to do with the sole motive of pleasing people. You were never fond of cars but still got it to uplift social status. Such impulsive decisions to please others might provide you with instant gratification, but the happiness associated with it is short-lived.
7. Self Criticism
In his book, The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz states, ‘In your whole life nobody has abused you more than you abused yourself’, a statement that holds quite true. Negative self-talk and constantly questioning your self-worth does no good to your mental health, and eventually, it hampers your ability to see any positive thing.
To Conclude,
If any of the above things made you exclaim, ‘Oh, I have done that!’, then you need to admit that the culprit resides within you. While the list is long, we always have an option to open the door for happiness and not of some therapy session. So don’t worry, as being grateful and introducing certain tweaks can pave the way to improved mental wellbeing and happiness, and that is not something you can’t accomplish.
