Have you heard of parental imposter syndrome, which makes parents doubt their parenting competencies and that they aren’t good enough? If you have felt that way too, then you shouldn’t be stressing about that anymore. Just like a child, a parent too has development stages where they learn, relearn and evolve to be better parents. The simplest way is to make sure you do what it takes to upskill your parenting skills at every stage. These tips for good parenting skills will have your back in your journey of improving your parenting skills.
Tips For Good Parenting Skills
1. Be Available For Your Kids
Be there for your child, both physically and emotionally, no matter how jam-packed you are with your work. Celebrate their milestones, big and small victories, and everything. Your genuine involvement makes them feel valued and loved. Look for moments where you can spend quality time with them, talk about their likes, dislikes, friends, school life, etc. and let them know that you are always there for them.
2. Making Your Children Independent
There’s a thin line between getting involved in your child’s life and micromanaging it, and often parents tend to blur those lines. As an adept parent, you should always avoid the latter one.
You need to stop nitpicking and questioning everything they do and give them the freedom to make decisions and learn to be independent. Instead of becoming their shield and imposing decisions, let them take the stance and figure out basic things on their own. This doesn’t mean that you will always be that spectator parent. Just look if there is actually a need for you to intervene or if your child will find a way by themselves.
What makes this skill so important is the fact that making a decision makes children feel empowered and get to know their caliber. It doesn’t matter what the consequence will be as children always end up learning something.
3. Building Strong Relationship With Spouse
Parenting is not a sprint. It’s a long relay race where you and your partner will have to take turns to maintain pace and keep moving forward.
The kind of relationship you share with your partner directly influences your child’s social skills and behavior in general. Given this, a happy and healthy relationship with your spouse with mutual respect and love for each other becomes super important. A nurturing bond with your partner gives your child a sense of stability and security.
4. Show Your Love and Affection
Gone are the days when parents were reserved when it came to showing love and affection. Truth be told, expressing love and giving parental warmth is one of the most underrated parental skills. Usually, parents are cautious that they might spoil the child or the child might not take them seriously if they become ‘cool parents,’ but in reality, that love nurtures your bond with the child.
The good news is that you can shower love in various ways. Simply hugging them, listening to them, randomly making their favorite dish, small gestures like planning a fun weekend to a place they like, etc., are some of the things you can do.
Don’t ever underestimate the wonders of basic things in your parental journey.
5. Revisit Your Parenting Style
Your parenting style broadly covers up the kind of parenting skills you possess. While the authoritarian style always takes the lead, you must inculcate skills that have got a blend of free-range parenting and authoritarian style.
You don’t want to be a parent whose children are scared or find it very difficult to approach their parents. You will be surprised to see how small changes in your overall parenting style will bring significant changes in your child’s overall development. Try to strike the right balance between giving them autonomy and adult supervision. This way, you will ensure that your child gets the liberty to explore, take a considerable number of risks, etc., all under your guidance.
6. Letting Children Fight Their Battles
One of the most challenging skills as a parent is to sit tight for some time when their child is in trouble. But trust me, you will thank yourself if you master this skill and trust your child to figure out ways to tackle their day-to-day problems. So, let children struggle.
Let me share a typical example. Suppose your child had an argument with a group of friends, and you know it’s not your child’s fault. Instead of jumping into the situation, defending and fighting for your child, let them face it. Yes, do interfere if things go out of control, but let them take the plunge, and you simply have their back.
A responsible parent makes sure that their kids become responsible too. These little habits will shape your child and prepare them for the future. You will need to learn the art of allowing your kids to fail and fall and then get up stronger.
7. Delegate Responsibilities
Schools are there to provide your kids with ample bookish knowledge, and it’s you who will need to prepare them for real-life situations. There are countless studies and research across the globe showing that children involved in household chores from an early age are more likely to succeed academically, mentally, and of course, professionally in the long run. When they are indulged in any task, they incorporate multiple values like self-discipline, time management, empathy, a sense of responsibility, and many more.
Part of being a skillful parent also means that you make your child ready to face challenges in the real world, and what better way to prepare them practically. And this makes delegating responsibilities one of the best tips for good parenting skills.
8. Reward Good Behavior
Who doesn’t like compliments? Not only do they make the person receiving them happy, but they also establish a positive reinforcement. When you praise children for good behavior, they are more likely to repeat it in the future as well.
So, the next time you like it when your child finishes their meal, talk to someone politely or anything, tell them how much you liked it. You may even consider going a step ahead by giving them some sort of reward as well.
Simultaneously, it is important to point out bad behavior and tackle them in a way that they aren’t repeated.
9. Break Down the Chain Of Always Saying ‘YES’
Most parents tend to agree to almost everything their child wants. They take child’s wishes as their command and provide them with everything and anything that they desire. Yes, you certainly wish to give your child all the comfort and luxury but at what cost? Practices like this make children take things for granted. They may never understand the value of those things. Therefore, there is nothing wrong with fulfilling the needs and desires of your child; just try to bring in some friction so that they value you and those things.
10. Don’t Lose Your Temper
There will be days when you will be pissed off, and those are meant to test your actual parenting skill. Under such circumstances, instead of losing your mind, you should react softly. Yes, that is a tough job, but that’s the point. ‘Spare the rod, spoil the child’, philosophy often leads to nowhere while dealing with children.
Of course, punishments are at times necessary but avoid any physical or harsh punishments. Keep a check that you don’t say any belittling remarks when angry. Those have massively negative consequences and impact your child’s self-esteem.
Recommended reading: Why Yelling at Your Child Don’t Work?
Recommended reading: What To Do After Yelling At Your Child
11. Hear Them Out
Children can really test your patience, especially when a lot is going on in their tiny heads. As a parent, the best you can do is sit tight and listen to them, no matter what. Don’t make excuses to avoid or shun them. Trust me, children crave your genuine attention.
Now what this majorly does is that they get a feeling of being respected, and secondly, it establishes trust, which makes you more approachable to the child. They won’t be scared or hesitant to come to you with their problems without the fear of any judgments. So be that kind of parent.
12. Incorporate the ‘Options Method’
A skillful parent is also a smart parent who knows the art of getting things done and giving some positive message to the child.
Here the idea is to get things done by not asking open-ended questions. Instead of asking at what time your child will start studying, ask them whether they will start studying at 7 or 8. Subconsciously this will know that they have chosen an option themselves, so they will probably follow that.
Now, this can be used in anything and everything. You just need to play around and come up with creative and productive options.
Recommended reading: Importance of Mother’s Mental Health for Child
13. Enforce Some Rules and Regulations
A smart parent knows how to incorporate certain rules to imbibe discipline in their child by demarcating boundaries between the negotiable and non-negotiable ones. Routines for small things like having breakfast after bathing, having a dedicated time for a certain activity, etc., help to foster great habits.
14. Be Their Role Model
Last but not least, children don’t understand your ‘do as I say’; instead, they get your ‘do as I do.’ So, make sure you do things that you wish your child to pick up. Be that person your child looks up to in all aspects of life. According to Sue Atkins, a parenting coach, “there is no such thing as a perfect parent, and all you need is just to be the real one.” So don’t put so much stress on yourself as you will do your best.
Conclusion: Tips For Good Parenting Skills
The last pro tip is to enjoy the process. Embrace the happy moments and little achievements while learning and improving the ones that went wrong. It’s important for you to understand that the main purpose of every parenting skill discussed as tips for good parenting skills will be for the betterment of your child, and the rest will follow.
