What To Do If Your Child Does Not Want To Go To School

Many parents are confused as to what to do when their children refuse to go to school. Is your child one of them?

Did you just say “Yes”?

We understand how frustrating and challenging it would be for parents to handle a child who does not want to go to school. School life is important for children’s development, both physically and mentally. At school, they learn to understand their surroundings, learn how to solve problems, understand the feelings of others, and much more.

The most common childhood behavioral problem is that they don’t want to go to school. Though school is the best place for children to feel comfortable and discover who they are, going to school is a stressful experience for some children, and as a result, parents have a tough time dealing with the situation.

Why Do Children Refuse To Attend School?

There are a variety of reasons why children refuse to attend school. Here are a few examples: 

–> Concerns about school and not understanding school work

–> Fear of other children/ bullying 

–> New school or change of school

–> They may have a problem with the teacher or with other children

–> They are under more pressure to complete schoolwork (academic side)

What Should You Do When Your Child Does Not Want To Go To School?

1. Have an open conversation with your child 

Talk about what is bothering them and why they refuse to go to school. Find out whether they have a problem with their classmates or teacher, or if they are having problems understanding their schoolwork, etc…

Parents can ask questions like the ones below if kids are not ready to open up and communicate. 

–> Do you remember what your teacher said? 

–> What one part of school would you change if you had the chance? 

With the answers to these questions, you will be able to better understand why your child is not ready to go to school.

2. Consider your children’s problem

Parents, when you are both calm and relaxed (not on a school morning), ask your child to describe the difficulties with going to school. Later, tell the children that you are always ready to solve their problems or that you can develop a school routine to manage their problems.

3. Question your child

Make it a habit to ask your child about what is going on at school. Knowing your child’s school activities, you can be able to help them overcome their problems. Following their habits regularly can help your child trust you and ask for your suggestions to solve their school-related challenges. 

4. Talk to your child’s teacher

During the day, your child’s teacher has more access to your child. So they are more likely to know what is going on with your child. Consider your child’s teacher as a member of your team while handling your children.

5. Remain calm and handle the situation

Remember going to school is non-negotiable, and you will have to arrive at a win-win solution. So, do not panic when your child says, “I do not want to go to school.” Stay calm. Understand your child and find out why they are not ready to go to school. Once you find out the reason, analyze the problem and help your child understand it, so they can work together to solve the problem.

6. Discuss positive things about school with your child 

Ask them questions such as, “How was your day? What did you do during recess? What was the best part of your day?” Such conversations will help your child develop the confidence to confide in you and encourage your child to share their concerns about schools and what makes them unhappy that they don’t want to go to school.

7. Appreciate and reward your child

Create a behavioral attention chart and stick it in their room. Appreciate them and stick a happy sticker on the chart whenever they are happy to go to school. Put a black mark on the chart anytime they throw tantrums about not going to school. Compare the happy sticker with the black mark at the end of the month; if the happy sticker is higher than the black mark, reward them with a gift. If the black mark is higher, do not reward them. This gives your child an unpleasant feeling, and they will try to go to school happily the following month in order to earn a reward.

8. Reduce the fun factor at home

Sometimes children like to skip school because they think they can have more fun at home. Be creative and try making staying at home more boring than going to school. This is the perfect solution for children who try to skip going to school! Make sure that your child is really sick if they say they cannot go to school in the morning because they are unwell. If they show no sign of illness, encourage them to go to school. Also, tell them that “if anything happens after you get to school, I am always available to pick you up.”

Note: On days when they stay home, plan for activities to spend quality time with them and do not allow them extra screen time.

Conclusion: If your child does not want to go to school

One thing to keep in mind as a parent is that your child is entering a new developmental stage. So always encourage them by saying, “At first, going to school is tough and a bit scary, but soon you will be enjoying the best days of your school life.” This will motivate them to overcome their fear of school, and as time passes, they will happily go to school.