These days there is a remarkable increase in the number of children doing more out-of-school activities now than ever before. Parents are running children around from one activity to another and filling every spare moment with extracurricular activities. It seems that the popular culture of parenting that has caught up today’s parents is to fill every hour of every day with exciting things for their children. Often it is out of peer pressure of the popular culture.
Such a social environment makes parents guilty of not providing the best for their kids if they do not put the kids in a range of activities. This leads to a loss-loss situation for both parents and kids. It is putting immense pressure on families, leaving them exhausted, stressed, and anxious. Children are exhausted and stressed to excel in whatever activity classes they attend. This deprives children of play time – time for nourishing life skills, disempowering them, depriving them of the opportunity to learn self-efficacy. All these factors, in turn, are affecting their mental health.
Rethink Your Parenting Style.
Is your child over-scheduled? Is your child over-entertained?
Let me put it this way: As parents, you are not intentionally depriving your children of the chance to develop cognitive and social skills in a fun way through free play. But it is the concern for their future success that tends to drive you to plan your kid’s day around academics, structured sports, arts, and educational classes.
- Being bombarded with messages on developing every skill and aptitude in their child at the earliest,
- Being bombarded with advertisements of a variety of structured adult-driven activity workshops and training programs and their ability to produce super-achievers,
- Being bombarded with reality shows that show how parents put in extreme efforts to create a superstar out of a child,
- Being bombarded with messages that to get the desired spot in higher education that can transform child’s future needs to be well prepared from a very early age through academic enrichment classes,
even the greatest of parents fear slowing down.
Add to this, a dollop of peer pressure that drives you to ensure the kid stays on the fast track, keeps up with the pace of their peers, even better stay ahead of them. The tadka on this whole scenario is your own busy schedule, nuclear families with both parents working that drive you to consider multiple structured activities to keep your kid engaged when you are away. All these factors lead to less personal satisfaction in parenting. Stop accepting media and advertising content that suggests otherwise, that claim that true development is in a variety of scheduled activities for kids instead of traditional methods of play and family togetherness. Researchers have proven that active child-centered play time promotes health and cognitive development.
Recommended reading: Can Video Games Cause Aggression In Kids?
Research Insights
In his research, Professor Kyung Hee Kim mentioned,
‘Since 1990, even as IQ scores have risen, creative thinking scores have significantly decreased.… children have become less emotionally expressive, less energetic, less talkative and verbally expressive, less humorous, less imaginative, less unconventional, less lively and passionate, less perceptive, less apt to connect seemingly irrelevant things, less synthesizing, and less likely to see things from a different angle.’
Isn’t That Alarming?
It’s heart-wrenching for me.
Childhood was different in the 60s. Playing outdoors, in the sunshine, without helmets was probably the only best possible form of play known a practiced back them.
If you are a 70s, 80s, and 90s child, you most likely had enough and more play time and opportunities for free play. The absence of modern technology, TV, internet, smartphones at times seems a blessing. Double touches meant tagging someone in the playground, high fives meant likes, and “bravo” was a comment. Such tagging, likes, and comments during play infuse life in those mere words, striking a chord of nostalgia in you.
Let your kids experience the joy of such tagging, likes, and comments every day.
I can almost hear many of you already saying to me, “what about my child’s future?”, “competition is so high these days,” “my child will lag behind,” and so on. I would say now is probably the best times that we live in. These days opportunities are endless. Your only ticket to success is not being a doctor or engineer. You can be highly successful even if you are good at cooking, good at speaking, or good at writing. The startup scene is expanding every day. Freelancing opportunities are at an all-time high.
Here’s What You Should Do.
Gather courage to say no. Be honest with yourself and your kids. Don’t feel guilty. Don’t worry if you don’t do everything possible. Don’t think if you don’t go the extra mile, your kids will suffer, they will be deprived, or they will fall behind their peers. At times, the best thing parents can do for their child is nothing.
In this age of professionalization of parenting, trust your instincts when parenting.
Let your child be a child. Let your children be naturally playful.
Recommended reading: 10 Things To Consider When Buying Toys For Your Child
Recommended reading: How Can You Make Free Play Fun and Engaging as a Parent?
